Maintaining Chaos

Would you consider your life chaotic? Do you constantly find yourself in the midst of drama? Do you find yourself unintentionally creating drama? My answer is yes to all 3 of these. I don't know why, but I always seem to be in the midst of drama. A realization came to me this week though; my entire life has been a whirlwind of chaos. I have always been around it, I don't know what "life" is w/o it. I think with the way my life goes it seems as though it's in a constant dissaray.

There are upsides and downsides to this:
1) I work well under pressure
2) Multitasking is easy for me
3) I learn quickly and thrive in a fast paced environment

1) I create drama when and where drama is not needed
2) There is never a "calm" time
3) I always feel the need to be busy doing something

Upside to the Downside:
I don't really know what "calm" looks like...so how can I miss it?

Downside to the Upside:
Ps. 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God..."

I wonder if I can ever be content if there is lack of chaos (In my opinion there are different levels of chaos. It can be constant busyness or even emotional turmoil that never seems to end). Because I've always lived in chaos it really explains a lot about me...I like everything to be exciting...I hate maintaining and love change...I'm really great at initiating things...

The main question I've been asking myself this week is: how can I change the way I naturally react, and my instincts to act upon every event in my life? Why do I feel the need to always have something going on? I'm not sure if this is a change that's necessary in my life, but who's to say what's best for me other than God? Do I really need to change this desire for pandemonium? The final question of this post is, how do you "unlearn" something that seems normal to you?

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